don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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