WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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