Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize