why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
