What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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