The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
