She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
