he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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