how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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