I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
