if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the condom got lost in my hair
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
