be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize