tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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