I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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