who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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