Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I had to cum in my sink.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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