The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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