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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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• (530): View more from California

  the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

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• (607): View more from New York

  She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We welcome drunken adversity.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  With open legs.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism

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• (209): View more from California

  I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.

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