Pappa wants mamma naked
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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