Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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