well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
