She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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