Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
