its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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