Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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