I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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