no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
