am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
