I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
