Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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