i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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