Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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