Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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