Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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