First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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