there was a trapeze. enough said
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
