did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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