I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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