HIV tests are more positive than that guy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
