So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
