upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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