Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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