My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize