By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
