I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
