Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
