Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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