Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
