I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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