is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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