Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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