i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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