girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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