Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
