Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
