Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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