We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
