Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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