he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
His nipple licking is glorious
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