I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize