I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
