Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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