you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
NoShamevember. You game?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize