One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
