she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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