Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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