Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
