just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
