They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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