i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
