We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
