In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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