he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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