Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
