once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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