yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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