That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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